Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Things I learned in College

As I prepare for my official college graduation I thought it might be fun to share some of the important knowledge I gained throughout the past 120 credit hours, 40 classes, and 4 years.

  • It's ok to eat McDonald's everyday if you get out of the car to get it.
  • Textbooks bought on Amazon are cheaper but won't arrive till after the first exam.
  • There's no need to spend the whole 300 dollars on an ipod, a 10 dollar pair of apple headphones will suffice.
  • Professors eat, drink, and have children, and sometimes you might run into them with any one of those components, its OK.
  • No matter what class you have in the animal science building you will still smell like cow by the end of it.
  • Extra credit is rarely worth the effort.
  • Never attack Russia during the winter.
  • Watching desperate housewives on previously mentioned ipod does not constitute paying attention in stats class.
  • All reporters are shady, even the good ones.
  • Poetry does not need to rhyme, sound good or make sense.
  • The most interesting information on any given day can be found written in chalk on the ground.
  • Always take clothes with you to the shower, in case of a fire drill.
  • If you lose your keys, don't lose the spare. If its the keys to your dorm room, you are really stupid.
  • It's not possible to become friends with classmates in a political class during a presidential election.
  • People used to live in underwater colonies.
  • Vinegar, honey and tea will cure migraines, tonsillitis, the chicken pox, dehydration, athlete's foot, strep throat, pink eye….
  • If you remove 32 doors, put all the screws in one box.
  • If its 13 degrees outside do not jump in the lake.
  • Save early, save often, save save save.
  • There are few things more important in life then proper comma usage.
  • Four girls need more then three closets.
  • When the final is building a 2 foot tall stage flat there are some very excited puppet theatres nearby.
  • If you watch a movie about a bouncing ping pong ball it will be on the exam.

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