Things I learned in College

As I prepare for my official college graduation I thought it might be fun to share some of the important knowledge I gained throughout the past 120 credit hours, 40 classes, and 4 years.

• It's ok to eat McDonald's everyday if you get out of the car to get it.
• Textbooks bought on Amazon are cheaper but won't arrive till after the first exam.
• There's no need to spend the whole 300 dollars on an ipod, a 10 dollar pair of apple headphones will suffice.
• Professors eat, drink, and have children, and sometimes you might run into them with any one of those components, its OK.
  
• No matter what class you have in the animal science building you will still smell like cow by the end of it.
• Extra credit is rarely worth the effort.
• Never attack Russia during the winter.
• Watching desperate housewives on previously mentioned ipod does not constitute paying attention in stats class.
• All reporters are shady, even the good ones.
• Poetry does not need to rhyme, sound good or make sense.
• The most interesting information on any given day can be found written in chalk on the ground.
• Always take clothes with you to the shower, in case of a fire drill.
• If you lose your keys, don't lose the spare. If its the keys to your dorm room, you are really stupid.
  
• It's not possible to become friends with classmates in a political class during a presidential election.
• People used to live in underwater colonies.
• Vinegar, honey and tea will cure migraines, tonsillitis, the chicken pox, dehydration, athlete's foot, strep throat, pink eye….
• If you remove 32 doors, put all the screws in one box.
• If its 13 degrees outside do not jump in the lake.
• Save early, save often, save save save.
• There are few things more important in life then proper comma usage.
• Four girls need more then three closets.
• When the final is building a 2 foot tall stage flat there are some very excited puppet theatres nearby.
• If you watch a movie about a bouncing ping pong ball it will be on the exam.